Running After Zombies Running After Me

Went for a run this morning, to practice for when the zombies come. Long runs can make a runner better at sprinting, although sprinting will not improve your long run. I’m sure there’s research out there somewhere that says so, and even if not, I can make up whatever I want since we’re talking about zombies anyway.

Passed a sign for the Monster Dash, a 5k run those goes up and down the Interurban trail in Shoreline. Gnashing of teeth and wailing, I wanted to do that run! Last year I saw the signs post-run as well, and thought I’d take part this year. Then I forgot. Now I’ll be seeing the spray-painted directions on the asphalt when I do my jogs for the next six months, like last time.

But it got me to thinking about runs and zombies, how they go hand in hand. Zombie runs all over the shop. And I keep missing them. There’s The Zombie Run, which used to be “Run for Your Lives.” Tomorrow is the Dawn of the Dead Dash in Honolulu

(“Honey! Can I spend a couple thousand bucks on an airplane ticket tomorrow? You’re working all day anyway, right?”).

And of course there’s Zombies, Run! An app for your smart phone, which I helped Kickstart back in the day. It’s pretty fun—as you run, it keeps track of your progress, and you’re audibly chased by zombies as you go, picking up survival gear for the in-app game when you aren’t running. It even meshes with whatever music you’re playing so you don’t have to go out there alone.

I see people talk about shot guns and fire axes and crossbows all the time, show pictures of their dream zombie fortresses, discuss food rationing and survival techniques… but not enough is said about good old fashioned running. It’s the most basic, and I would say, most essential, of all the tools necessary to survive the undead apocalypse.

Cars run out of gas, guns run out of ammo, hatchets lose their edge, buildings fall down. But as long as you can trust your legs and lungs, you’re going to be doing pretty good.