Can Zombies Feel Pain?

Dr. Dratoc is having a nice, relaxing cup of coffee in his favorite café, Sodium. He likes the place because it doesn’t get a lot of business, probably because of its name. He’s often alone in there, and has his choice of seats. Usually he sits in the back, away from the windows. Working in a hospital gives him plenty of opportunities for people watching, so when he’s at Sodium, he likes to face the wall and zone out, just forget everything for a while.

Today he’s thinking about as little as possible as he sips his cinnamon mocha. Caffeine and L-theanine, good for what ails you, and what ails Dr. Dratoc is overabundance of stimulation.

“Ouch!” he says suddenly, before he evenly realizes his hand is burning. He looks down at the spilled coffee on the table. Man, that smarts. Afferent nerves working as evolved, he thinks, looking up. He sees a man shuffling away, the one who bumped into his table. “Excuse you,” Dratoc says, a little peeved.

The man turns around, eyes glazed, a deep, bleeding gash in his forehead, blood running over broken teeth and dripping on the floor. He reaches a hand up, mumbles “braaiii” and takes a step towards Dratoc.

“Damn it,” Dratoc mutters. And Sodium used to be such a nice place.

~~~

Congenital analgesia, or congenital insensitivity to pain (CIP), is a very rare condition that afflicts only a handful of people in the world at any one time. People with CIP don’t experience pain, although they can feel heat, cold, and pressure on their skin. This is opposed to CIP with anhidrosis, where the sufferer feels almost nothing except pressure on the skin.

Science still isn’t sure exactly how nerve endings send different signals for pain, temperature, pressure, and other sensations, although CIP does appear to be an affliction of the brain, and not of the nerve endings themselves. In a sense, people with CIP do have pain, they just don’t know it.

Congenital analgesia is usually an inherited condition, although there are cases reported where it was theorized that a malfunctioning excess of endorphins mitigated pain reception. It can be very dangerous to have, since feeling pain is an evolved survival technique, and suffers are at risk of sustaining life ending injuries without being aware of it.

Fortunately, people with CIP do not usually suffer from any other defects; while they don’t feel pain, they do grow and heal as normal.

~~~

Dr. Dratoc kneels over the now recumbent man, listening to the distant but approaching wail of an ambulance. He reads the man’s medical bracelet. “Congenital Analgesia. Please alert a medical professional if I am bleeding freely.” Well no duh.

The barista, dreads, goatee, ironic t-shirt and all, emerges from the bathroom with a green face. “Blood everywhere, man. Not cool, not cool. It’s all over the sink, all over the Dyson Airblade hand dryer, man.”

“He probably slipped on the wet tiles, poor guy. Banged his head pretty good, put him in a daze. I’m surprised he was able to walk out of there at all.”

“Aw geez, ya think he’s going to sue?”

Dr Dratoc shrugs. “If he even remembers what happened,” he says, looking at the burn on his own hand and wincing. “They say experiencing pain can enhance the making of memories. This guy probably won’t remember a thing.” Dratoc blows on his hand, although the pain won’t go away. “Must be nice.”