I gotta say, I kind of like where this is going. This idea to use a zombie ethos to lionize some person or organization or gestalt. I want to try my hand at it. So, here are my 5 Reasons People Who Listen to Surf Guitar Will Survive the Zombie Apocalypse:
Lots of Energy: surf guitar is frenetic, explosive at times, non-stop, unrelenting. These are the perfect ingredients for staying on the run when zombies are on the loose, chasing people down and devouring whole the slower ones.
Willing to Make their Own Way: surf guitar ain’t top 40, ain’t pop, ain’t showing up an any oldies station, is barely even touched by College radio or the Hipster Underground. People who like surf guitar are fiercely loyal, and don’t mind at all that they can’t cram themselves into the rescue shelters, repurposed stadiums, or other hell-holes that fall apart under their own broken infrastructure and become feeding troughs to the zombie hordes.
In Tune with Deeper Rhythms: Surf guitar is about reverb, feedback, fuzz, and licks played so fast it breaks picks. But underneath all of that is a driving rhythm that holds it all together, a sense of time that surf lovers never lose in the noise. When chaos breaks out and zombies are running amok, when everyones gone completely banana bonkers, surf guitar lovers will hang on to the pulse of humanity and ride out the storm.
A Sense of History and Respect for Current Movements: Surf guitar got its start in the early sixties, and only the most cynical poser doesn’t still love Dick Dale, the Ventures, and the Chantays. But you can’t surf unless you get yourself some Laika and the Cosmonauts, some Man or Astro-Man? And some Daikaiju. When the zombies come and tear apart our world, it’s the surf guitarists who will remember Who We Used to Be, and keep that spirit alive even as they help build a New World of Hope.
Intense Survivability: Have you been to a surf guitar concert? They’re loud. They’re played in small venues which means all that loudness is packed into a tiny space. They’re dark. They’re full of teenager and guys in the 60s thrashing around wildly. They’re full of cheap beer and cheaper whiskey. The women at surf guitar concerts are tough as nails and will give you a black eye either to shut you up or demonstrate their love for you. In the mad rush of idiots running from the zombies who are ripping them to shreds, it’s the surf guitar fans who will hang in there with the best of em. You though the zombie was scary? Just try and take down a surf guitar fan, I double dog Dick Dale dare you.
Okay, now it’s your turn. Send me your 5 reasons your favorite thing shows how someone will survive the zombie apocalypse.
I like this entry. Very much.
ReplyDeleteThanks AF!
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