Dr. Manny, You are Paranoid and Misinformed (about Zombies)

In a recent post at Fox News, Dr. Manny opined that “America's obsession with 'The Walking Dead' is hurting our society.” He went on to say: “call me paranoid and misinformed, but there is one common theme that is pervasive in American pop culture today: violence. Even more specifically, zombie violence.”

You’re paranoid, Manny. I googled “zombie” and got about 231 million hits. I googled “war” and got 1.6 billion. And last time I checked, your own Fox News, where you opine regularly, covers war about 99% more often than it does zombies. So if its violence you’re afraid of, tell your handlers to back off.

You’re misinformed, too. You say, “We also see this zombie obsession in many videogames. Even more disturbingly, these games create environments for young children—“ and I’m going to stop you right there. These games do NOT create environments for young children. The average video game player is 34. Most video games are not created for children, and if you are giving YOUR children these games, you’re a sicko.

You Fox News types haul out this “violent video games warp kids” trope every chance you get. But that’s like saying “alcohol makes kids alcoholic.” No one’s legally giving kids alcohol, and zombie video games are not for kids. You even say “That’s why they’re labeled M for Mature.” Do you not know what that means?

But back to zombies. ”This obsession with the undead in television and other media is quite puzzling.” But why is it puzzling to you? You point out that the concept has been around for decades, you mention “zombie runs…” and that’s it. TV shows, video games, and zombie runs, oh my. How is this an obsession, exactly? Where’s the zombie flags flying over zombie protestors angry at our zombie government for giving the zombie poor acces to low-cost zombie healthcare?

Because that, Dr. Manny, would be an obsession. The same way you trot out the words “socialized medicine” every chance you get to castigate the Affordable Care Act. (Little fact for you, Doctor M: America already has socialized medicine. It’s called Medicaire and Medicaid. And you’ve already made a mint off of it. So pipe down).

I know why you don’t like zombies, Dr. Manny. Zombies are by the people, of the people, for the people. Zombie ‘fantasies” show us how the so called power-elite would be powerless against a mindless horde. And since you conservative types view us regular folks as “mindless hordes” already, it scares you silly.

But don’t worry, when it comes to eating brains, we’ll skip your empty head.